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Mrs. Landingham where are you?

UPDATE: The deadline for applications has been extended to Friday January 13th.



The struggle against modernity is being lost. I am being beaten back by the incessant onslaught of emails, DMs, Skype calls, telephone calls, mail, and even text messages. It is time to acknowledge I need help and call in the reinforcements, namely you. I am looking for an Executive Assistant. The job will entail:


  • Reading and filtering my daily email
  • Answering phone calls
  • Researching random facts (“What is the population of Juba?” or “Who was the cute one in the Monkees?”)
  • Booking travel
  • Ensuring follow up with staff
  • Tracking Task Lists
  • Tracking and updating project timelines
  • Deflecting cranky moods (“Look! A new SNL skit is on YouTube!”)


The ideal candidate will not only emulate the qualities of Miss Moneypenny, Jeeves, Dolores Landingham, Matteo Ricci, and Tenzing Norgay, they will know who these people are. Minimum qualifications include:


  • An ability to speak and write English with style and enthusiasm,
  • An attention to detail that borders on the worrying,
  • And a thoroughly well organized mind.


There are no educational qualifications for this position. Previous experience as a Personal or Executive Assistant will be looked upon favorably, as will French language skills.


The position is located in Ottawa, part time with flexible hours to begin with, and will likely become full time.


Applicants should send a 153 word cover letter explaining your three most successful means of staying organized to with the reference line: “Moneypenny”.*  The deadline is January 1st.


"Paging Mrs. Landingham."









*Note the second qualification listed above.



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  1. Bren says:

    Re: Moneypenny

    Please don’t leave us in suspense: did you find Mrs. Landingham, or is she eluding you still?

  2. Susan Hall, Ottawa says:

    Heh, did ya find someone? i loved the add and wrote 153 words.

    Organization is receipt, processing, action and follow up; knowing what to answer, schedule (or avoid); and anticipating the boss needs. It is the secret to success and involves practical systematic approaches to the workload at hand.

    These days it’s all about how to manage e-mails, telephone calls, social media presence and respond to the many requests! Being organized brings efficiency and means having:

    1. Systems: basic principles of keeping people, things, events organized, an integrated approach which renders information available, complete, accurate, timely and protected.

    2. Plans: scope of projects and activities understood, documented, monitored, reported upon, and adjusted as required.

    3. Anticipation: understanding of organization, client, regulations, processes, tools in order to anticipate business requirements and cycles to meet current and future business objectives.

    These three things are building blocks to good management and administration. The fourth, communication, is the foundation stone of a well run organization and also contributes to success.

  3. Bren says:

    Dear Susan,

    Oh wow! I learned so much from reading your post! Did you make that up all by yourself? Mr. Gilmore, you should totally hire Susan. She would be a delight to work with!

    Since you’re into letting the cat outa the bag on your personal strategies, Susan, here are some tips that you might appreciate. Personally, I’m into high tech but I don’t think my bosses always understand how electronic systems work. For example, I totally love to create Tasks in Microsoft Outlook. Bill Gates is so polite and thoughtful. When you create a Task and ask it to remind you, it gives you two options: Dismiss or Snooze. Well, I can’t begin to tell you how totally delighted I was to have that option to Snooze, especially when the howling tom cats outside my window kept me awake all night. So some days “Snooze” it is. And if one snooze isn’t enough, well it just keeps coming back at you! I’ve tried to explain it to my bosses but some of them just don’t get it.

    Those new wide screen computer monitors are also such a blessing. Well, no one really wants to spread their windows from one side of the screen to the other because it will totally give them a kink in their neck turning their head back and forth all day long, so what’s all that extra space for? I have the answer for you: Post it Notes. I post my urgent ones on the right side of my screen and my “when you get around to it” list on the left. I discovered a little trick: don’t buy the real Post It Notes because the glue just won’t hold for weeks at a time. Buy the cheap imitation ones and they hang in there FOREVER. That way I always keep my eye on the priorities and when my boss yells from his office, “Mrs. Smith, did you forget to make my travel arrangements for my trip tomorrow?” I can totally answer: “No, Mr. Jones, it’s right here on the top of my list”. This also solves our communication problem because he can just walk over to my computer any time and see my lists. Totally cool.

    Well, I have just tons of other suggestions but I don’t want to totally tip my hand on all the little surprises that I have in store for my next boss. I’m sure you understand, Susan, or should I call you “The Next Mrs. Landingham”?

  4. Bren says:

    Dear Mr. Gilmore,

    Since it would seem that you’ve been too busy to hire Mrs. Landingham yet, I thought you might appreciate some assistance with the pressing questions you expressed in your job posting.

    What is the population of Juba? I assume, Sir, that you’re looking for the population of the City of Juba as opposed to the whole County of Juba? Well, in view of the fact that the Government of Southern Sudan doesn’t know the exact population and have rejected the results of their official census, I hope you’re not expecting that Mrs. Landingham will have some super powers. Wikipedia places the population at a mere 372,413 in 2011, while a Juba travel guide brags that it’s 1,118,233! This is one of the fastest growing cities in the world but perhaps they just have a different method of counting: maybe they count limbs instead of entire bodies!

    Who was the cute one in the Monkees? Sir, by now I would assume that you realize that “cute” is in the eyes of the beholder. My girlfriends and I debated this very question for hours at a time. If you don’t mind the short, puppy dog, hyperactive type, it would be Davy Jones, who their publicists describe as being “terminally cute” (whatever that means!). If you’re attracted to the leader of the pack and have a thing for drummers (although he didn’t yet know how to play drums at the start of their show), it would be Micky Dolenz. If you’re going for the tall, cool, mysterious quiet man with untold secrets in his eyes and a trademark hat, it would be Michael Nesmith. But, if you just like the average guy next door, it would be Peter Tork.

    Please feel free to ask for further assistance when needed.

  5. Michael says:

    I hope this whole assistant thing is resolved so that we may not further be deprived of the whimsical blogging of Scott Gilmore. 2011 was as bad a year for critically-thinking aid bloggers as it was for dictators.

    Also: the question ‘Who was the cute one in the Monkees?’ WAS, indeed. PDT has always been ahead of the game, but that’s just creepy.

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